Updated info as i know it:

*Had CT Scan (to use as baseline test) last Thursday (results are complete, I'll find out the details of them next week)
*Had a Lung function test today to use as baseline tests and to determine the type of high dose chemo I will receive as a part of the transplant.
*Have an apt with a radiation specialist next Wednesday to discuss radiation options
*I am scheduled for my "Planning Session" next Thursday and will have firm transplant dates, but it looks like all will likely start that weekend the 28th/29th.

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I had a followup appointment last Friday at the clinic. I don`t know much more than I did before really. My blood work counts are currently extremely low (to be expected post chemo), so I am at risk for infection which means extra cleaning and hand washing at the O`Neil residence. I`m pretty tired right now due to the low blood counts but otherwise feeling OK. I`m pleased that i was able to tolerate the last chemo fairly well and again with little nausea (thanks to my magic pills). The stress of this all still plays hard with my emotions - but I'm managing best I can.

I should find out possibly Tuesday the dates for my next scan which will be used to determine how much further the tumor(s) have shrunk as well to use for baselines. I suspect the scans will be in about 2 weeks. I also suspect the week after that will be a meeting with the doctors to discuss the transplant which i am anticipated to undergo either the last week of August or first week of September.... We did discuss radiation again - and I will most likely receive some form of radiation as a part of the treatment this time around. Either total body radiation during the transplant or a determined course of radiation after the transplant. This will be discussed again after the scans and with a specialist.

The 7 days of the transplant protocol will be very difficult. I will undergo 7 days of chemo and an infusion of my stem cells back (as well possibly radiation). It will be the most toxic chemo i will have received yet. I will be left with no immune system and at very high risk for infections etc. I`m going to try and do as much of this as out patient so that I may spend most of my time at home if I am well enough. Days that I am not well enough I will be admitted to the hospital.

Like I said, I will be at high risk of infections due to my recovering immune system for a number of months after the transplant. I`ll remind everyone that during this time, it is SO important to not visit or have us visit if anyone is ill. Especially since we`ll be getting into flu season as well soon. Another challenge we`ll have is keeping Olivia well since she does attend daycare. We will likely keep her out of daycare if there are any illnesses there to try to avoid spreading them at home. We`ll play this by ear.


Brad will be taking some time off during the transplant to be with the girls as we continue to try and keep things as normal as possible for them during this time. We will be taking up everyone on their offers for help during this time as well.

Also, here's agood time to make a shout out (and great big huge THANK YOU) to our friends Andrea and Brad who drove all the way from Barrie, ON carting a number of coolers FULL of freezer meals!!! Our freezer is packed and that is awesome! Thank you EVERYONE from Barrie and Belleville who sent their homemade meals along - I understand there are meals that came from a number of households!!! Seriously - we appreciate the food!

The hair came off today. I though Olivia would be traumatized. She was totally fine...helped Grandma cut it and daddy shave it... We have been explaining to her about mommy`s hair falling out and why. She is mostly concerned if I will still have a head when my hair falls out. Good question - some days I wonder myself. We also shaved daddy's head - with a Mohawk!

So - time to enjoy the next 2 weeks as I don`t have to make any visits to the hospital as far as I know. Life can be somewhat normal for another two weeks. I look forward to hanging out with the girls as usual :)

MORE BIRTHDAY PICS from the second 3rd bday party!!!

Alexia was fascinated with the helium balloons!
The pool - always a big hit!!! (Jordan , Olivia and Gibson)...

Me with my Godson Wyatt...

...and with his baby sis, Sydney!

Baby Maguire!

Baby girl with daddy...getting out the bubble machine!

Mya and Olivia playing with the New Barbie Condo!

BFFs!

Alexia helping her big sis tear into presents - Alexia was right into it - it was very cute!

PRESENTS! Gibson gave Olivia an awesome frames collage of varies play dates they've had over the last 3 years - Super-cute!

...The cake and singing...

...friends Wyatt and Jordan playing....

Cutie COUSINS, Mya and Olivia

Auntie Nadia and her wee man Tristan...

Sisters:

Mommy and Daddy with our THREE year old:

FAMILY: Our children are so blessed to have such wonderful, caring active grandparents - THANK YOU all for everything you do for us and our girls!

The girls with Nanny and Grandpa:

The girls with Pops and Grandma:

Auntie Andrea and uncle Brads great ART work:

The Day of Olivia's 3rd Birthday

The group shot - ish...and mius one...lol

The kids from Olivia's daycare came over in the morning for a play and a lunch celebration! She was SO excited that her friends and Lisa were ALL coming over to HER house. It was cute. These are a great group of kids and they were so much fun to have over!

After lunch, getting ready to sing happy Happy Birthday and have cake! We also lit the candles 3 extra times so the kids could keep blowing them out!!! The highlight of the party!!!

Our snack luch and the cinderella decorations LOL

Playing at the Dora ship!!!

Playing on the Island!

...and in the pool!

*July 23/10 - Home from the hospital and doing OK. The nausea has been under control with the meds, the steroids keep my jittery and sleepless, but the mainthing is I'm back with my family and for now feeling OK.
This is a busy week as Olivia's bday is on Tuesday. Her daycare friends will be coming over for a play, lunch and cake. Should be fun. Saturday she will have a separate party with her other little friends - can't wait!
I'v also made the decision that what's left of my hair (which is literally strands) needs to come off this week, so from then on in it will be Au natural, party hair and scarves...oh to have so much choice! lol
My spirits are OK, nervous how close it is till transplant time. My understanding is that I'll have some baseline scans done in about 3 weeks then go into the SCT (more chemo and the infusion of cells) - Then we cross our fingers. Not sure what the stand on radiation will be for after - we'll cross that bridge when we come to it I guess.
Everyone have a nice weekend.


*I will be admitted to the hospital sometime on Sunday for about 3 days to receive my next round of chemotherapy. I likely will not be discharged until sometime on Wednesday. It`s the longest I will have been away from my kids which breaks my heart. I plan to drug myself heavily for three days so that i may sleep through the sadness (being away from home) and the emotions this whole process (ie the self poisoning) brings me.
Brad will be off Sunday until Tuesday with the girls. I hope he will stay patient with them (as he is not typically with them for this length of time, 2 at a time and on his own). I also hope he will ask for help when he needs it (ie in the evenings) - 5am till 9pm make for a long long day even when both girls are on their best behavior. It is rewarding - just long and often tiring. I feel trapped knowing that i will not be here doing MY job.
Think of us and wish us luck.
The O`Neil`s xo

Olivia's photoshoot!

Olivia and I had a blast getting ready and going to the photo shoot! She was really getting into it! Her 3rd birthday is just around the corner and here are the photos to commemorate it!

More July FAVS :)

My grandparents have been here the last week visiting from Colorado. It's been great having them here. Olivia and Alexia have both warmed right up to them and will be sad to see them leave today. This is the girls and I with my grandpa.
This is mom and I with the girls and my grandparents. We have 4 generations in this photo.

Grandma and Grandpa with their great granddaughters:

The girls in the bike trailer out for a cruise around the farmers market:

Olivia and her friend Jordan at out splash pad and park:

Olivia and Alexia were helping Grandma make carrot cake:

Fun at the splash pad:

Fun in the backyard:

Mommy and Alexia:

Alexia's favorite place to play:

Alexia and friend Tristan playing with pots and pans. We don't have ANY toys at our house LOL

The Cancer Update:

I had a Ct scan last Monday to see if we have made any progress in shrinking the tumors. A meeting with the doctors on Friday proves that there was a response to the last chemo and that the masses are still shrinking and there is no growth or new growth seen. I have what they call a partial response. Good enough to go into the transplant. However, I have decided to have one more round of chemo to see if we can further shrink these masses and then go into the stem cell transplant from there.

I have had some difficulty with congestion/hearing since the last treatment and at this point we are not sure if it`s due to the chemo. We are giving it this week on antihistamines to get a better idea. One of the drugs from my last chemo can cause hearing damage so to be on the safe side and prevent any further damage to my hearing we will likely use a different combo of drugs for the next round of chemo. Likely a regime referred to as ICE (which I believe i have had in the past).

I have a meeting on Friday to discuss the dates for this next chemo and maybe even project the timing of the SCT.

Because my cancer situation is no longer text book perse I don`t get to have the big picture plan from the get go, follow it and see how it goes from there...Rather I get to be treated in baby steps and develop the next steps based on progress from the last. I am a total planner, so this is very difficult for me. I find it very frustrating not to have the big picture plan up front.

I`m trying desperately to work on my spirit. The distraction of my two beautiful girls helps me do this. I love every minute I have with them, even the trying ones. I read of a young woman who once said (and don`t quote me exactly)...``I will plan cancer around my life, not my life around my cancer.`` I think she hit the nail right on the head here. I need to live my life first and foremost. I`ll schedule the cancer in where i can fit it.

I have allot on my mind, most of you can image (and some of you are completely oblivious)...I`m trying to keep my thoughts organized and to not let them consume me. The best way for me to do that it to keep living life as normal as I can. Obviously I can`t ignore the fact that I have cancer but when I can I like to put it on the back burner in my thoughts.

I`ve receive lots of cards, phone calls and the odd treat these last couple weeks and again I thank everyone. These little surprise really help our family spirits and let us know that everyone is routing for us. I (we) will win this battle in the end. My ultimate goal is to be around long enough to see my girls marry and have families of their own...and with any luck even longer...lol...ok with allot of luck. Realistically I probably won`t ever be cured of this disease but i hope to keep it at bay for a very long time again and then manage without allot of difficulties it when it needs to be manged sometime down the road.

I have more super-cute July pics of the girls - will try to post this week for your viewing pleasure!

Thanks for reading, Love the O`Neil`s xoxo

A few July favorites!

Alexia in her 4th of July outfit!
...and Olivia in hers!

...and of course...in their Canada day outfits too: