The Cancer Update:

I had a Ct scan last Monday to see if we have made any progress in shrinking the tumors. A meeting with the doctors on Friday proves that there was a response to the last chemo and that the masses are still shrinking and there is no growth or new growth seen. I have what they call a partial response. Good enough to go into the transplant. However, I have decided to have one more round of chemo to see if we can further shrink these masses and then go into the stem cell transplant from there.

I have had some difficulty with congestion/hearing since the last treatment and at this point we are not sure if it`s due to the chemo. We are giving it this week on antihistamines to get a better idea. One of the drugs from my last chemo can cause hearing damage so to be on the safe side and prevent any further damage to my hearing we will likely use a different combo of drugs for the next round of chemo. Likely a regime referred to as ICE (which I believe i have had in the past).

I have a meeting on Friday to discuss the dates for this next chemo and maybe even project the timing of the SCT.

Because my cancer situation is no longer text book perse I don`t get to have the big picture plan from the get go, follow it and see how it goes from there...Rather I get to be treated in baby steps and develop the next steps based on progress from the last. I am a total planner, so this is very difficult for me. I find it very frustrating not to have the big picture plan up front.

I`m trying desperately to work on my spirit. The distraction of my two beautiful girls helps me do this. I love every minute I have with them, even the trying ones. I read of a young woman who once said (and don`t quote me exactly)...``I will plan cancer around my life, not my life around my cancer.`` I think she hit the nail right on the head here. I need to live my life first and foremost. I`ll schedule the cancer in where i can fit it.

I have allot on my mind, most of you can image (and some of you are completely oblivious)...I`m trying to keep my thoughts organized and to not let them consume me. The best way for me to do that it to keep living life as normal as I can. Obviously I can`t ignore the fact that I have cancer but when I can I like to put it on the back burner in my thoughts.

I`ve receive lots of cards, phone calls and the odd treat these last couple weeks and again I thank everyone. These little surprise really help our family spirits and let us know that everyone is routing for us. I (we) will win this battle in the end. My ultimate goal is to be around long enough to see my girls marry and have families of their own...and with any luck even longer...lol...ok with allot of luck. Realistically I probably won`t ever be cured of this disease but i hope to keep it at bay for a very long time again and then manage without allot of difficulties it when it needs to be manged sometime down the road.

I have more super-cute July pics of the girls - will try to post this week for your viewing pleasure!

Thanks for reading, Love the O`Neil`s xoxo