Update

June 3, 2010

Yesterday was a very long, tiring and emotional day. The day of my stem cell collection. We did get up to a rough slow start but once things were going it was ok. It was anticipated that I may need 2 or possibly 3 days to collect the number of cells need. This is because of of my prior SCT which now makes it more difficult to collect. With the help of Nuepogen and mozobil (injections to stimulate stem cell growth) we were able to collect above the minimum amount of cells needed for later use. What a big relief.

Now I will enjoy this tiny ``break`` till next Friday when i begin the next chemotherapy in this process.

Till the next update,
Love the O`Neil`s


May 26, 2010

First I want to say I have had a really good week. Finally feeling human again combined with this nice weather and a long holiday weekend spent with my family...It was nice to feel "normal" for a while and less like a cancer patient...

Today I had a "planning appointment" to discuss the next steps regarding my treatment. There is a "plan" with some dates/time frames being concrete and others being projected.

I had a CT scan (with injection contrast) yesterday to see how I responded to the 2 doses of ABVD. The scans revealed the some tumors have shrunk and some have remained the same but there has clearly been some response (which is good). Apparently because my masses are in the lung tissue they can be difficult to interpret accurately. Regardless it is obvious that there was a response to the chemo. Unfortunately because I have received ABVD in the past, these last two cycles have brought me to my life time maximum on the "A" drug and because of the toxicity I will not be receiving more if this drug combo. Instead on June 11th and 12th I will receive one dose of a drug combination (which is more intense than the last) called DEHAPP.

Prior to that we will proceed in collecting stem cells to be used later for the transplant. This will take place next week on June 2nd and 3rd and possibly the 4th if we require an additional day to try to collect the number of cells needed. Because I have already had a SCT in the past I have less stem cells than the average Joe and therefore collection may prove difficult (but hopefully not impossible). To aid in this collection I will have to self inject Nuepogen prior to and during the collection as well as go to the hospital for injections of another drug, both that will stimulate the growth of stem cells.

The following week (June 11th and 12) as I said previously I will receive the dehapp.

Approximately 3 weeks later I expect to have another CT scan to reveal the response and hopefully if all goes according to plan i will be headed for the stem cell transplant (which involves super high dose chemo and the return of my cells) approximately 4-6 weeks after the DHAPP. that brings us to late July or early August...

Several weeks after the SCT i will be referred to a radiation specialist to determine if radiation will be a part of this treatment plan or not.

So far, I've accomplished the "easy" stuff. These next steps will certainly prove more difficult (physically and emotionally for me and for the people close to me). My hopes is that it doesn't turn into a planning nightmare as far as making sure my girls are cared for. I have to have faith that everyone who has offered us help will come through when we most need - that being during the transplant when I may be in the hospital for a number of weeks on and off. I'd be naive if I thought we weren't going to need to count on the help of a number of people to help us get through this. I hate asking for help, but I will do it.

I don't worry about me too much - i WILL get through this again, even though it will be tough and it completely sucks...What I do worry about are my girls. I don't want them to have a sick stressed out mother nor do I want them to feel the stress that my illness causes to others or in general. It's a fine balance and I hope (I even pray - imagine that) we can do it.

My Hematologist a few weeks back made a comment to the effect that half the battle going into the SCT is being sure your spirit and emotions are in a good place. I think most days I put on a really good act, but when I am true to myself, i have to say I'm not there...I have to work on that and get my mind into a better place...

I need to say our thank yous again!!! We received several get well and thinking of you cards this week as well as a couple of meals and some delicious baked goods. The food is ALWAYS good and again I can't tell you how much we really appreciate these gestures.

Again - I know for those thankfully NOT standing in my shoes, some of this is beyond comprehension...if you have questions please feel free to ask me by email phone or in person...I will answer best I can.

I'll update again soon and I will get another post up this weekend with some pics of my beautiful children. Love the O'Neil's xox

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Things I am thankful for:
1) That my mother once again has put her life on hold to help me and my husband and children get through this. A mother naturally will do ANYTHING for her children. My mother - again and again and again does this and with no strings attached.
2)That I have a wonderful husband that is able to multi task and hold down the fort inside and out. When I see all the things he does for the girls and I and around the house I remind myself how lucky I am that I was able to find my soul mate and that he isn't one of those beer guzzling, couch potato lazy sh!ts who expects wifey to take care of everything LOL
3)That against all odds God (or whoever) gave me the two most beautiful children in the world. Olivia and Alexia are the most precious gifts I have ever received in my life. I can not imagine for a second my life without them.
4)That Brad and I have such great families. Our families will play a huge part in helping us get through this. We have some pretty great friends too and I'm also thankful for that...

I write this down so on those days I may be at my lowest and possibly think I have nothing to be thankful for I can remind myself that indeed I do.

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It`s been just over a week since my last chemo treatment and finally I am beginning to feel human again - sort of. It`s been a rough week with side effects. This time is quite the opposite problem that i had last time. Lets just say in the last 4 days being more than ten feet from the bathroom is not an option. On the bright side my magic anti nausea pills did wonders to keep the vomiting away. My biggest complaint right now is the extreme fatigue but it is to be expected.

I had a followup appointment in the clinic yesterday. Just some blood work and a discussion about the next steps - collecting stem cells and some scans to see how things have responded so far. I should receive a call next week with specific dates which i expect will be the following week. I admit i look forward to this small break knowing i won`t have chemo for at least another two weeks. Based on the scans we`ll know what the next steps will be.

I look forward to feeling better this weekend and next week (fingers crossed) and spending some quality time (and time where i`m not complaining) with my girls and of course my hubby.

This week i thank i must say thank you for the flowers i received to bright my day, the well wishes and thinking of you cards and the meal we received (ummm homemade mac and cheese)!!! We really appreciate these highlights week to week.

I need to mention special thanks of course to our parents who juggle looking after the girls (and looking after us) when I can`t or we need a break...they have all been here for us 200% and it`s comforting to know that they will continue by our sides through this whole process.

This past weekend Olivia had a special adventure. She spent the weekend with her cousins Abbie and Alison doing girl stuff. She clearly had a blast as she has not stopped talking about it. Thank you girls for making such a special fun-filled weekend for her!

I`ll update more when I know anything new, until then...Love the O`Neil`s xoxox